tonight i watched my body turn to water and fall in pieces of glass to the wooden slats below.
i dripped through the cracks and watered the earth
i fell to the earth from which i came with thanks

last night i had a dream that
i was 
driving.
it was dark but it was day
and i was 
alone.
and the road was
winding.
and the car was too
large
for me to control but
i was going 
fast, and


i sped up the more twisted it got
and i could feel my mind
disconnecting from my core
i was
slipping
i was
driving
off the roads 
and i enjoyed 
the feeling
of losing
control.


today i am in the air
i cannot see the ground over the wing
and the sky is blue and
i am in a 
glass bulb of sky
and i am out of
control.


last night i had a dream that
i had lost control and
woke with a start 
for my enjoyment
of my loss
of my self
was my nightmare.

i draw mountains on your
skin
because my secret is
you are my mountain and
my secret is
you are my home and 
my secret is i
sleep in your breath and i
shower in your tears and i
bake bread under your fingernails 
my darling.
i rest between the bones of your 
spine and i
laugh in the crevice of your
collar bone and i 
drink tea in your
eyelashes and i
warm myself by your skin i
sigh by your 
freckles and i 
moan by your 
lips and i
lock myself away behinds your
shoulder blades i
store my secrets behind your 
eyes


because


my secret is i
trust for you to
keep my
secrets safe.


my secret is.


you are my mountain and 
my secret is
you are my home and 
my secret is i
don't write poems because 
my secret is i
haven't had a home in which to hide my secrets but


my secret is
you are my home
so here is a poem.

a poem
a poem for you
i want to write words
from my heart that are true
i want to write words
that show (make you know)
the sing (make you sing) that
halt the world from 
spinning (behind your eyes)
that tear your chest apart and 
creep into your heart and
settle behind your ribs and
warm you
(r soul)
my need is to
write
words for you because 
words are my fear
my fear i will
rip my fear from my fingertips 
for you and
i will
scream my words to the stars 
for you and
i will
tear my clothes from
my body
for you to
see my words through my 
pale skin
penned in my
veins on my 
bones
make you
see that i am scared 
for you to
see that i am frightened 
make you
know that i am bare 
for you
make you
know that i am there
for you
for i am here
my skin is your 
skin
put your hands on my 
skin
dip your hands in my 
heart
it is yours
and i am scared
for i will scare myself
for you i will 
scare myself
for you
let me kiss you 
i am scared
let me kiss you.