oglala sioux proverb

treat the earth well: it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children. we do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.
reblogged from wetbehindthears

girl with the dragon tattoo

blomkvist was sure that it was not the old-fashioned kind of love that leads to a shared home, a shared mortgage, christmas trees and children. during the eighties, when they were not bound by other relationships, they had talked of moving in together. he had wanted to, but erika always backed out at the last minute. it wouldn't work, she said, they would risk what they had if they fell in love too. blomkvist had often wondered whether it were possible to be more possessed by desire for any other woman. the fact was that they functioned well together, and that they had a connection as addictive as heroin.
sometimes they were together so often that it felt as though they really were a couple; sometimes weeks and months would go by before they saw each other. but even as alcoholics are drawn to the state liquor store after a stint on the wagon, they always came back to each other.
pages 67-68.

why? - good friday

why? - good friday



if you grew up with white boys who only look at black and puerto rican porno cause they want something that their dad don't got then you know where you're at
mortaring your earholes shut in a rush with wet coke in a starbucks bathroom with the door closed on booze, i'm left in residue and confused like the first time you used soft water down on my luck, caught unaware like houdini when the last fist struck
if i'm singing in laughing at something sunken in, i am
sucking dick for drink tickets at the free bar at my cousin's bat mitzvah cutting the punch line and it ain't no joke devoid of all hope circus mirrors and pot smoke picking fights on dyke night with shirlies and lokes and snatching purses
doing out on karaoke and forgetting all the verses blowing kisses to disinterested bitches playing lead lay in a bad way on broadway sending sexy smses to my exes new man cause i can on the road trying to break an old van eating pussy for new fangs, i am what the hell using purell till my hands bleed and swell missing mail at a motel 6, i'm unwell
if i'm sinking in laughing at something sunken in, i am
it feels exciting touching your handwriting getting horny by reading it an repeating poor me intently staring at the picture of your feet on the sticker at the r. crumb exhibit, i wonder who's sicker
jerking off in an art museum john till my dick hurts the kind of shit i won't admit to my head shrinker not even in a whisper to my own little sister i just act like a dick and talk shit when i'm with her
aught six i'll say the friday before easter was not what i cried to myself in the pisser and with you in the front row at the silver jews show and you act like you don't notice, my fear of the bear at showbiz pizza when i saw six was overwhelming and not dissimilar to this
if i'm sinking in laughing at something sunken in, i am
at jacob han's on tour i wake up hung over on a hardwood floor from a dream about how your dress hangs off of your little breasts i'd rather be dead than call this song how i lost your respect but god bless or get neglected and i'll see you when the sun sets east, don't forget me

next year

i want to be a stone cold fox
wear red lipstick
dark lipstick
no lipstick
black eyes
gaunt cheeks
i want to be fierce.
i want to not eat
want to cover myself in tattoos
want to smoke all the fucking cigs i want
drink all day
smoke all night
create fucking incredible art and scoff at their awe of me.
roll my eyes at their praise
i want to be praised.
i want to be mean
hard
rough
raw
drink tea out of jars
with chipped fingernails
bleeding cuticles. 
i want to dye my hair red
or bleach it out 
make it look shitty
cuz i finally don't give a fuck.
i want to do what i fucking want to do.
so i will
starting
now.


but where does that leave the me i'm leaving behind
can she hold on in the background
i hope so
i need her to.
she's the one who got me here
and can get me back if i go too far.
where is she now?
smoking a goddamn cigarette.

i am so tired

the beatles

new

i think i shall change my name daily. 
today, i shall be called maya.
maya means mother or great one in greek.
maya means illusion in sanskrit.
illusion.
this name shall be my illusion.
maybe one day it will be believed by a passerby.
i apologize, passerby.
but i need this change.
i need this illusion.
i am sorry.

one inspiration

http://wetbehindthears.com/


she is lovely.

i want this on my body

                                                       egon schiele, house with bell tower, 1912

we got it grand

i love being a lady

i love that we get to pretend we’re taller than we really are with a bold pair of heels

‘love candy colored lips and tight dresses that show off our curves

i love having curves

curves that demand attention and respect when spotted sauntering into a room

i love figuring out the tricks that make them sweat

a bare shoulder slipping out of its cloth container

a pale nape of the neck teasing its viewer

the perfect sway of a hip

i love making love

i love that we get to say no

‘love seeing the look on his face when i say yes

i love saying yes

to dancing in the street like everyone’s watching

my body move and it responding like

yes watch me love the skin that i’m in

cuz it’s mine and it’s the only thing i’m ever gonna get that i know i got til the day i die 

i love finding beauty in everyday happenings just cuz i can

‘love feeling like a nymph when swimming bare in the dead of night

silhouetted by the shadow of a moon

i love feeling overwhelmed by emotions

and thoughts

and overanalyzing every last detail

cuz life’s never boring enough to accept at face value

i love crying

‘love pouring out liquid sadness onto another’s shoulder

and not feeling weak for needing that shoulder

i love being artsy

and taking long showers, hot bubble baths

scented candles burning in the background

i love yoga and rain and hot tea with honey and going barefoot

and the ability to bear children

and holding hands with boys and girls alike without worrying about

what other people think

i love 5 days of a red reason to eat chocolate, be moody and not once look in the mirror

but i love accidentally catching my reflection

and mistaking that girl in the shine of that window as a friend of mine

cuz ladies

no matter the heartbreak, negativity, self-consciousness and tears,

you always got your curves to keep you company

and the moment you see your best girlfriend in your reflection

baby, you know you got it grand

generate

a tang of salty french
mingled with the
          sultry caramelized italian
as he mouthed the languages - his languages
     slowly to my ears
he boiled my blood as it
                             pumped
                                 to my moving body
limbs swayed
             pulsed
                  touched
his words dripped from his fingers
his touch glided from his lips
         his tongue.
         his teeth.
               eyes. black. longing. telling
it all stung my skin
   and sizzled as it burnt away
      leaving nothing but hot scars
         to remind me of hot nights that will
never escape from my cage of desires
    to grace this reality.
        my reality
is fantasy.