Tuesday, August 16, 2011
unattainable
i have an unattainable thirst to write poetry; i am held back by the paralyzing fear that my words will fall hard and dead on the pages of my books, not spring to life and make my pen's ink sing. language is utterly beautiful and terrifying. i am terrified that my language will not be beautiful.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
bands to listen to and explore
Active Child
Air
Alex Napping Project
Allen Mask
The Americans
The Appleseed
The Avett Brothers
Avi Buffalo
bad design
Bad Sports
Best Cost
Beach Hose
Bill Callahan (smog)
The Black Crowes
B L A C K I E... All Caps, With Spaces
Black Magic Kit
Brian Eno
Broken Social Scene
BUXTON
Camera Obscura
capybara
CHCUO! (The Chapel Hill - Carrboro Ukulele Orchestra)
Click-Clack
Cocky Americans
Collapsing Horse
Com Truise
Cotton Jones
Crystal Castles
Cut Copy
Daft Punk
DANGER
Dawes
Deerhoof
Deerhunter
Deer Tick
Delicate Steve
Delorean
Delta Spirit
The Dodos
Dominique Young
Dr. Dog
Dreamed
The Drums
Earth Girl Helen Brown
Electric Six
El Guincho
EvoLewtion
The Felice Brothers
Flaming Lips
flow coma
Ghost Mountain
Girls
Grimes
Hacienda
The Handshake
Hard Mix
Heartless Bastards
Here We Go Magic
Holy Ghost!
Howler
The Itchy Hearts
John Maus
Julianna Barwich
Junior Boys
Justin Townes Earle
Langhorne Slim
Leg Sweeper
Little Dragon
Little Lo
Local Natives
Love Inks
Lucero
Man Factory
Midnite Society
The Misteries
M. Ward
MARMALAKES
Middle Brother
Mumford and Sons
My Morning Jacket
The National
Neil Young
New Fumes
Oberhofer
Painted Palms
Pat the Monster
Preteen Zenith
Record Hop
Saharan Gazelle Boy
Sealion
SebastiAn
Seryn
Shakey Graves
Small Black
Someone Still Loves You
Sound Team
Soviet
St. Vincent
Stephen Farris Trampled by Turtles
The Strange Boys
The Subterranean
Sundress
SUNSET
The Tallest Man on Earth
Tapes N’ Tapes
Titus Andronicus
The Toasters
Twin Sister
Uffie
The Uptown Bums
The Velvet Underground
WHY?
WU LYF
Monday, August 1, 2011
plus ones
No one wants to hear about your 97th tear
So dry your eyes or let it go uncried, my dear
I am all out of love to mouth into your ear
And not above letting a love song disappear before it's written
And no one wants a tune about the 100th luftballoon that was seen shooting from the window of your room
To be a spot against the sky's colossal gloom
And land deflated in some neighbor's state that's strewn with 99 others
8 chinese brothers
Well, there's a reason why the last is smiling wide and sitting higher than the others
Swinging his arms
You would probably die before you shot up 9 miles high
Your eyes dilated as light played upon the sight
Of TVC16 as it sings you goodnight
Relaxed as hell and locked up in cell 45
I hope you're feeling better
51st way to leave your lover
Admittedly, it doesn't seem to be as gentle or as clean as all the others
Even a scars all in the after hours of some Greenpoint bar
I told you, I can't listen, baby, 'bout the 4th time you were a lady and how your forthrightness betrayed a secret shyness
Stripped away by days of being hailed as "your highness"
And what's new pussycat, as you were once a lionness
They cut your claws out
Kitten, not everyone's keen on lighting candle 17, the party's done, the cake's all gone, the plates are clean
The chauffeur's near and from the cheerless mezzanine
And in just one year, this straight world could pay to see what they have been missing
You were caught kissing 8 chinese brothers
Well, there's a reason why the last is smiling wide and sitting higher than the others
Staking with charm
And he says, "Lets get lost, let them send out alarms
He says, "Let's get crossed out and come to harm"
"Lets make the world's stupidest stand and truly mean it
Lets hit the limit of loss over lover's arms
No, lets exceed it"
listen here
So dry your eyes or let it go uncried, my dear
I am all out of love to mouth into your ear
And not above letting a love song disappear before it's written
And no one wants a tune about the 100th luftballoon that was seen shooting from the window of your room
To be a spot against the sky's colossal gloom
And land deflated in some neighbor's state that's strewn with 99 others
8 chinese brothers
Well, there's a reason why the last is smiling wide and sitting higher than the others
Swinging his arms
You would probably die before you shot up 9 miles high
Your eyes dilated as light played upon the sight
Of TVC16 as it sings you goodnight
Relaxed as hell and locked up in cell 45
I hope you're feeling better
51st way to leave your lover
Admittedly, it doesn't seem to be as gentle or as clean as all the others
Even a scars all in the after hours of some Greenpoint bar
I told you, I can't listen, baby, 'bout the 4th time you were a lady and how your forthrightness betrayed a secret shyness
Stripped away by days of being hailed as "your highness"
And what's new pussycat, as you were once a lionness
They cut your claws out
Kitten, not everyone's keen on lighting candle 17, the party's done, the cake's all gone, the plates are clean
The chauffeur's near and from the cheerless mezzanine
And in just one year, this straight world could pay to see what they have been missing
You were caught kissing 8 chinese brothers
Well, there's a reason why the last is smiling wide and sitting higher than the others
Staking with charm
And he says, "Lets get lost, let them send out alarms
He says, "Let's get crossed out and come to harm"
"Lets make the world's stupidest stand and truly mean it
Lets hit the limit of loss over lover's arms
No, lets exceed it"
listen here
fake empire - the national
Stay out super late tonight
picking apples, making pies
put a little something in our lemonade and take it with us
we’re half-awake in a fake empire
we’re half-awake in a fake empire
Tiptoe through our shiny city
with our diamond slippers on
do our gay ballet on ice
bluebirds on our shoulders
we’re half-awake in a fake empire
we’re half-awake in a fake empire
Turn the light out say goodnight
no thinking for a little while
lets not try to figure out everything at once
It’s hard to keep track of you falling through the sky
we’re half-awake in a fake empire
we’re half-awake in a fake empire
listen here
picking apples, making pies
put a little something in our lemonade and take it with us
we’re half-awake in a fake empire
we’re half-awake in a fake empire
Tiptoe through our shiny city
with our diamond slippers on
do our gay ballet on ice
bluebirds on our shoulders
we’re half-awake in a fake empire
we’re half-awake in a fake empire
Turn the light out say goodnight
no thinking for a little while
lets not try to figure out everything at once
It’s hard to keep track of you falling through the sky
we’re half-awake in a fake empire
we’re half-awake in a fake empire
listen here
Saturday, July 30, 2011
oglala sioux proverb
treat the earth well: it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children. we do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.
reblogged from wetbehindthears
reblogged from wetbehindthears
girl with the dragon tattoo
blomkvist was sure that it was not the old-fashioned kind of love that leads to a shared home, a shared mortgage, christmas trees and children. during the eighties, when they were not bound by other relationships, they had talked of moving in together. he had wanted to, but erika always backed out at the last minute. it wouldn't work, she said, they would risk what they had if they fell in love too. blomkvist had often wondered whether it were possible to be more possessed by desire for any other woman. the fact was that they functioned well together, and that they had a connection as addictive as heroin.
sometimes they were together so often that it felt as though they really were a couple; sometimes weeks and months would go by before they saw each other. but even as alcoholics are drawn to the state liquor store after a stint on the wagon, they always came back to each other.
pages 67-68.
sometimes they were together so often that it felt as though they really were a couple; sometimes weeks and months would go by before they saw each other. but even as alcoholics are drawn to the state liquor store after a stint on the wagon, they always came back to each other.
pages 67-68.
Friday, July 29, 2011
why? - good friday
why? - good friday
if you grew up with white boys who only look at black and puerto rican porno cause they want something that their dad don't got then you know where you're at
mortaring your earholes shut in a rush with wet coke in a starbucks bathroom with the door closed on booze, i'm left in residue and confused like the first time you used soft water down on my luck, caught unaware like houdini when the last fist struck
if i'm singing in laughing at something sunken in, i am
sucking dick for drink tickets at the free bar at my cousin's bat mitzvah cutting the punch line and it ain't no joke devoid of all hope circus mirrors and pot smoke picking fights on dyke night with shirlies and lokes and snatching purses
doing out on karaoke and forgetting all the verses blowing kisses to disinterested bitches playing lead lay in a bad way on broadway sending sexy smses to my exes new man cause i can on the road trying to break an old van eating pussy for new fangs, i am what the hell using purell till my hands bleed and swell missing mail at a motel 6, i'm unwell
if i'm sinking in laughing at something sunken in, i am
it feels exciting touching your handwriting getting horny by reading it an repeating poor me intently staring at the picture of your feet on the sticker at the r. crumb exhibit, i wonder who's sicker
jerking off in an art museum john till my dick hurts the kind of shit i won't admit to my head shrinker not even in a whisper to my own little sister i just act like a dick and talk shit when i'm with her
aught six i'll say the friday before easter was not what i cried to myself in the pisser and with you in the front row at the silver jews show and you act like you don't notice, my fear of the bear at showbiz pizza when i saw six was overwhelming and not dissimilar to this
if i'm sinking in laughing at something sunken in, i am
at jacob han's on tour i wake up hung over on a hardwood floor from a dream about how your dress hangs off of your little breasts i'd rather be dead than call this song how i lost your respect but god bless or get neglected and i'll see you when the sun sets east, don't forget me
if you grew up with white boys who only look at black and puerto rican porno cause they want something that their dad don't got then you know where you're at
mortaring your earholes shut in a rush with wet coke in a starbucks bathroom with the door closed on booze, i'm left in residue and confused like the first time you used soft water down on my luck, caught unaware like houdini when the last fist struck
if i'm singing in laughing at something sunken in, i am
sucking dick for drink tickets at the free bar at my cousin's bat mitzvah cutting the punch line and it ain't no joke devoid of all hope circus mirrors and pot smoke picking fights on dyke night with shirlies and lokes and snatching purses
doing out on karaoke and forgetting all the verses blowing kisses to disinterested bitches playing lead lay in a bad way on broadway sending sexy smses to my exes new man cause i can on the road trying to break an old van eating pussy for new fangs, i am what the hell using purell till my hands bleed and swell missing mail at a motel 6, i'm unwell
if i'm sinking in laughing at something sunken in, i am
it feels exciting touching your handwriting getting horny by reading it an repeating poor me intently staring at the picture of your feet on the sticker at the r. crumb exhibit, i wonder who's sicker
jerking off in an art museum john till my dick hurts the kind of shit i won't admit to my head shrinker not even in a whisper to my own little sister i just act like a dick and talk shit when i'm with her
aught six i'll say the friday before easter was not what i cried to myself in the pisser and with you in the front row at the silver jews show and you act like you don't notice, my fear of the bear at showbiz pizza when i saw six was overwhelming and not dissimilar to this
if i'm sinking in laughing at something sunken in, i am
at jacob han's on tour i wake up hung over on a hardwood floor from a dream about how your dress hangs off of your little breasts i'd rather be dead than call this song how i lost your respect but god bless or get neglected and i'll see you when the sun sets east, don't forget me
next year
i want to be a stone cold fox
wear red lipstick
dark lipstick
no lipstick
black eyes
gaunt cheeks
i want to be fierce.
i want to not eat
want to cover myself in tattoos
want to smoke all the fucking cigs i want
drink all day
smoke all night
create fucking incredible art and scoff at their awe of me.
roll my eyes at their praise
i want to be praised.
i want to be mean
hard
rough
raw
drink tea out of jars
with chipped fingernails
bleeding cuticles.
i want to dye my hair red
or bleach it out
make it look shitty
cuz i finally don't give a fuck.
i want to do what i fucking want to do.
so i will
starting
now.
but where does that leave the me i'm leaving behind
can she hold on in the background
i hope so
i need her to.
she's the one who got me here
and can get me back if i go too far.
where is she now?
smoking a goddamn cigarette.
wear red lipstick
dark lipstick
no lipstick
black eyes
gaunt cheeks
i want to be fierce.
i want to not eat
want to cover myself in tattoos
want to smoke all the fucking cigs i want
drink all day
smoke all night
create fucking incredible art and scoff at their awe of me.
roll my eyes at their praise
i want to be praised.
i want to be mean
hard
rough
raw
drink tea out of jars
with chipped fingernails
bleeding cuticles.
i want to dye my hair red
or bleach it out
make it look shitty
cuz i finally don't give a fuck.
i want to do what i fucking want to do.
so i will
starting
now.
but where does that leave the me i'm leaving behind
can she hold on in the background
i hope so
i need her to.
she's the one who got me here
and can get me back if i go too far.
where is she now?
smoking a goddamn cigarette.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
new
i think i shall change my name daily.
today, i shall be called maya.
maya means mother or great one in greek.
maya means illusion in sanskrit.
illusion.
this name shall be my illusion.
maybe one day it will be believed by a passerby.
i apologize, passerby.
but i need this change.
i need this illusion.
i am sorry.
today, i shall be called maya.
maya means mother or great one in greek.
maya means illusion in sanskrit.
illusion.
this name shall be my illusion.
maybe one day it will be believed by a passerby.
i apologize, passerby.
but i need this change.
i need this illusion.
i am sorry.
we got it grand
i love being a lady
i love that we get to pretend we’re taller than we really are with a bold pair of heels
‘love candy colored lips and tight dresses that show off our curves
i love having curves
curves that demand attention and respect when spotted sauntering into a room
i love figuring out the tricks that make them sweat
a bare shoulder slipping out of its cloth container
a pale nape of the neck teasing its viewer
the perfect sway of a hip
i love making love
i love that we get to say no
‘love seeing the look on his face when i say yes
i love saying yes
to dancing in the street like everyone’s watching
my body move and it responding like
yes watch me love the skin that i’m in
cuz it’s mine and it’s the only thing i’m ever gonna get that i know i got til the day i die
i love finding beauty in everyday happenings just cuz i can
‘love feeling like a nymph when swimming bare in the dead of night
silhouetted by the shadow of a moon
i love feeling overwhelmed by emotions
and thoughts
and overanalyzing every last detail
cuz life’s never boring enough to accept at face value
i love crying
‘love pouring out liquid sadness onto another’s shoulder
and not feeling weak for needing that shoulder
i love being artsy
and taking long showers, hot bubble baths
scented candles burning in the background
i love yoga and rain and hot tea with honey and going barefoot
and the ability to bear children
and holding hands with boys and girls alike without worrying about
what other people think
i love 5 days of a red reason to eat chocolate, be moody and not once look in the mirror
but i love accidentally catching my reflection
and mistaking that girl in the shine of that window as a friend of mine
cuz ladies
no matter the heartbreak, negativity, self-consciousness and tears,
you always got your curves to keep you company
and the moment you see your best girlfriend in your reflection
baby, you know you got it grand
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